I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
