youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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