cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
