i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
