I'm drive I can fine osifer
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
