return my video game
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize