how can u be prego again
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
