if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
