One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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