i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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