Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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