gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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