Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think people are normalizing furries
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize