Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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