Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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