So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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