Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
