he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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