I like to think it a success when the cops are called
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
