So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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