last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Actions speak louder than pants.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
