Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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