The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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