can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize