please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
