Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My butt remains clenched, sir.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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