the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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