All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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