Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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