so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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