I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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