weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
third nipple confirmed
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
