I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
