i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
