there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
