Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
