I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Let's paint friendship bongs
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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