I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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