Nicole vs. Life
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize