I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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