You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
