thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize