what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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