God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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