He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I would ride that face into the sunset
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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