ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
