just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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