You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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