yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
