What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
