Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
