mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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