There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
