I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
