at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
