Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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