Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
