Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
