does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
