o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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