If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
